Kinky Sex, Lesbian Sex, Angry Sex, And A Really Really Twisted Sex

Just another day in Bon Temps and just another episode of True Blood.

I've always made a rule for myself to underpromise and overdeliver so that the people whom I owe my promise to wouldn't be too excited, get their hopes up, or be too disappointed. This is why when True Blood promised to deliver the the sex scene that they claim will become the watercooler moment of the next twenty years, they have set the bar higher than before.

Usually when a TV show promises to deliver a huge cliffhanger or twist or other WTF moments, they rarely deliver (hello, 90210! Yes, I'm talking about you) and only few manages to make your jaw drop and scream "What the hell?! What the hell!?" in front of your TV/Laptop screen (Alias, Lost, Grey's Anatomy), but oh BOY do they deliver this time! And we just got into the third episode of the current third season, making me can't wait to see what else is in store for the rest of the season.

I never thought that any TV show can get any more shocking, more controversial, and nastier than how True Blood has been. But then again, I remembered this is True Blood, born from the genius mind of Allan Ball (Six Feet Under), anything can happen in True Blood. This is, after all, the show that has been nicknamed as "Vampire Porn" and "The Hottest Summer Show from HBO" in a better term.

Now onto the sex talks, here are the sexlights (sex and highlights) of that said episode. And yes these all happened in one episode.

The kinky sex A.K.A. the seizure inducing sex

The first sex scene featuring vampire Franklin Mott and Tara.

Tara goes, "Go ahead. Bite me. Fucking do it!"

But he goes, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because you want me to..."

The lesbian sex

The second sex scene featuring vampire Pam (one of the deliciously spicy character on True Blood) with an Estonian stripper.

Pam was like, "Lie back, sweetheart. Think about Estonia."

From the look of her face, I'm sure she won't be thinking about Estonia at all.

The angry sex and the really really twisted sex

The angry sex and the really really twisted sex happened in one scene. Featuring vampire Bill and his maker, Lorena. Now brace yourself for this one... Things get spoiler-y from here on. So if you don't wanna know more and would rather wait to watch it yourself, just get out of this page.

Lorena, "Make love to me."

Bill, "Never!"

But he can't stop it because he has to obey the command of his maker and...

Snap! Putting a new spin on the doggy style (excuse the pun). It is literally a really really twisted sex!

Lorena, "Oh William, I so love you."

That... was... disturbing. I feel really really dirty after watching this episode. I feel like I should clean my eyes with soap or something...